Table of Contents
Do You Know What You Know?
The concept of “you know what you know, you know what you don’t know, and you don’t know what you don’t know” is a way of understanding awareness and knowledge gaps. This concept is often visualised in the context of learning, personal growth, and problem-solving. This idea highlights different levels of awareness and the potential blind spots that might hinder progress. A coach can play a critical role in addressing these levels and expanding awareness.
The Three Levels of Awareness
You Know What You Know (Conscious Competence)
This represents the knowledge, skills, and expertise you’re confident about.
Simple example: An accountant knows how to complete financial records.
A coach challenges you to deepen and leverage what you already know. They help you refine and apply your expertise more effectively, maximising your impact.
You Know What You Don’t Know (Conscious Incompetence)
This is the awareness of gaps in your knowledge or skills.
Example: You know you lack public speaking skills and need to improve them.
A coach guides you in setting learning techniques, developing strategies, and acquiring the necessary knowledge and skills. They provide resources, feedback, and accountability.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know (Unconscious Incompetence)
These are the blind spots—areas where you’re unaware of your own lack of knowledge or limitations.
Example: A team captain may not realise their leadership style is alienating team members.
A coach helps uncover blind spots through observation, questions, and feedback. By creating a safe space for reflection and discovery, they facilitate awareness and opportunities to address hidden challenges.
How a Coach Helps Across These Levels
A coach uses reflective questions to help you examine your thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and assumptions. This brings unconscious patterns to light.
Example:
Coach: “What do you think your team might say about how you handle conflict?”
Client: “I’m not sure… I haven’t thought about it. Maybe I could ask for feedback.”
A coach questions your beliefs and habits to help you recognise limitations and consider alternatives.
Example:
Client: “I’ve always done it this way because it works.”
Coach: “What might you gain by experimenting with a different approach?”
Through regular check-ins and structured plans, a coach ensures that you take steps to close knowledge gaps and reflect on your progress.
Example:
Coach: “In our last session, you wanted to improve your communication. How did you implement some of the strategies we discussed?”
Client: “I didn’t get the responses I expected. Some team members seemed confused.”
Coach: “What kind of feedback did you give, and how did you deliver it?”
Client: “I used positive reinforcement, but I may have come off as too vague. I didn’t provide specific examples.”
Coach: “That’s an important insight. Let’s set a goal to give more detailed, actionable feedback this week. Try using specific examples when addressing behaviour, and next time, let’s reflect on how it goes.”
A coach equips you with strategies, resources, and feedback to address both known and unknown gaps effectively.
Example:
Client: “I struggle with managing my time. I always feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day.”
Coach: “Let’s try a strategy like time-blocking. You’ll allocate specific chunks of your day to important tasks and set boundaries for less critical ones. How do you think that could help?”
Through regular check-ins and structured plans, a coach ensures that you take steps to close knowledge gaps and reflect on your progress.
Example:
Coach: “In our last session, you wanted to improve your communication. How did you implement the strategies we discussed?”
Client: “I didn’t get the responses I expected. Some team members seemed confused.”
Coach: “What kind of feedback did you give, and how did you deliver it?”
Client: “I used positive reinforcement, but I may have come off as too vague. I didn’t provide specific examples.”
Coach: “That’s an important insight. Let’s set a goal to give more detailed, actionable feedback this week. Try using specific examples when addressing behaviour, and next time, let’s reflect on how it goes.”
Increased Clarity: Understand strengths, weaknesses, and growth opportunities.
Proactive Growth: Address gaps before they become significant problems.
Enhanced Performance: Leverage what you know while bridging known and unknown gaps.
Continuous Learning: Cultivate curiosity and adaptability by embracing feedback and self-improvement.
By working with a coach, you can navigate the complex journey from what you know to what you don’t know, ultimately unlocking your potential and achieving greater success.
Reflective Questions
When do I feel the most confident and capable, and how do I actively apply this knowledge in my daily life or work?
What specific gaps in my knowledge and skills have I identified, and what steps am I taking to address them?
When was the last time I was surprised by a situation where I didn’t have the knowledge or skills I need? How can I create opportunities to uncover hidden gaps like this?
Where is Your Focus?
The concept of “you get what you focus on” suggests that your thoughts, attention, and energy significantly influence your outcomes. What you consistently focus on—whether consciously or unconsciously—tends to shape your reality, behaviours, and results. This principle draws from psychology, neuroscience, and personal development, emphasising the power of intentional focus in achieving successful outcomes.
Breaking Down the Concept
Focus Directs Attention:
The human brain has a limited capacity for processing information. When you focus on something specific, your brain prioritises it, often filtering out other possibilities and distractions.
Example: If you focus on opportunities, you’re more likely to notice and act on them. Conversely, if you focus on obstacles, they might dominate your thoughts and actions.
Focus Shapes Behaviour:
Your attention drives your actions. Focusing on productive goals often leads to intentional efforts, while focusing on fears or failures may lead to procrastination and avoidance.
Example: An athlete focusing on winning a race, channels their energy into disciplined training, while one focusing on failure might cause hesitation and self-sabotage.
Focus Amplifies Results:
Sustained focus creates momentum. Whether you’re honing a skill or building a habit, consistent attention compounds over time, producing tangible outcomes.
Example: Entrepreneurs focusing on customer needs are better positioned to create successful solutions.
The Role of a Coach in This Concept
A coach can help you harness the power of focus effectively, ensuring it aligns with your beliefs and values. Here’s how:
A coach helps you define clear, meaningful objectives so your focus aligns with what truly matters.
Example Question: “What is the most important outcome you want to achieve in the next 6 months?”
Coaches use reflective questions to help you examine your thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and assumptions. This brings unconscious patterns to light.
Example:
Coach: “What do you think your team might say about how you handle conflict?”
Client: “I’m not sure… I haven’t thought about it. Maybe I could ask for feedback.”
A coach helps you identify where your focus currently lies (e.g., on problems, distractions, or unproductive habits) and guide you in shifting toward more empowering areas.
Example Exercise: A coach may ask you to track where you spend your time and energy over a week to identify patterns.
Negative focus often stems from limiting beliefs and fears. A coach helps reframe these beliefs, enabling you to focus on possibilities and strengths.
Example:
Client: “I keep thinking about what could go wrong.”
Coach: “What would success look like? How could you prepare for that instead?”
A coach helps maintain your focus by setting priorities, tracking progress, and holding you accountable for your commitments.
Example: A coach might ask, “What will you commit to focusing on this week, and how will we measure your progress?”
Through mindfulness exercises, visualisation techniques, and structured planning, a coach helps train your mind to focus effectively and consistently.
Example Tool: Creating a “focus board” with visual reminders of your key goals.
It’s natural to lose focus or encounter setbacks. A coach helps you realign your focus after distractions or failures, ensuring long-term consistency.
Example: After a missed deadline, a coach might ask, “What did you learn, and how can you refocus on the next step?”
Increased Clarity: Understand what truly deserves your focus.
Improved Productivity: Channel your energy into high-impact areas.
Reduced Distractions: Learn to filter out noise and stay aligned with your intentions.
Stronger Resilience: Bounce back faster when focus wains.
Enhanced Outcomes: Achieve results that align with your vision and values.
By guiding you to keep focus intentionally and consistently on the right things, a coach empowers you to move past obstacles, unlock your potential, and create meaningful success.
Reflective Questions
What’s one area of my life where I’ve seen results improve because I intentionally focused on it?
Do I spend more time focusing on problems or on solutions?
What distractions or negative focuses are holding me back?
How can I better align my thoughts and focus with the outcomes I want in life?
The Power of Language
Consider this, how often do you hear people reply to the question of how are you, with “not bad”? Equally, you may hear people say “I forgot where I put my keys?” Would it make a difference if you answered “I’m doing great, thank you”, or thought “what if I could remember where I put my keys?” In both examples we are influencing our unconscious mind through the power of our language. We can use more positive, empowering language to achieve more happiness and success in life, it’s psychology 101.
Conscious Attention to Language:
Giving language conscious attention is understood through the concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP is a psychological framework that explores the connection between neurological processes (how we think), language (how we communicate), and behaviour (how we act). It focuses on how language patterns, thought processes, and behaviours can be intentionally adjusted to achieve specific goals, improve communication, and enhance personal effectiveness.
The Key Principles of Conscious Attention to language are:
People’s perceptions of reality are subjective and shaped by their internal “maps” of the world. Conscious attention to language aims to refine these maps for clarity and empowerment.
Using specific cues (words, gestures, or imagery) to elicit a desired emotional or behavioural state.
Changing the meaning of an experience to create a more empowering perspective.
Identifying and replicating the thought patterns and behaviours of successful individuals.
Semantics is the study of meaning in language—how words, phrases, and sentences communicate ideas. The language we use reflects and reinforces our beliefs, emotions, and behaviours. In the context of coaching, semantics becomes a powerful tool for shaping how individuals perceive their reality.
Words and phrases that reinforce limitation, fear, or self-doubt.
Example: “I’ll never get this right,” “This is impossible for me.”
Words and phrases that promote confidence, possibility, and positive outcomes.
Example: “I can figure this out,” “This is a challenge I’m ready to tackle.”
The Impact of Empowering vs. Disempowering Language:
Language doesn’t just describe reality—it shapes it. The words we use influence our mindset, emotional state, and behaviour:
Disempowering Language:
- Creates a sense of helplessness or defeat.
- Reinforces limiting beliefs.
- Diminishes motivation and resilience.
Empowering Language:
- Encourages confidence and proactive behaviour.
- Fosters a growth mindset.
- Opens pathways for problem-solving and creativity.
How a Coach Can Help with NLP, Semantics, and Language:
Coaches help clients recognise the words and phrases they frequently use and how these influence their thoughts and behaviours.
Example Question: “What do you notice about the way you describe this situation? How does it make you feel?”
Coaches use reframing techniques from NLP to help clients reinterpret challenges in a more empowering light.
Example:
Disempowering: “I failed at this.”
Reframed: “This attempt didn’t work, but I learned something valuable for next time.”
Changing the meaning of an experience to create a more empowering perspective.
Coaches encourage clients to replace disempowering phrases with language that fosters growth and optimism.
Example Tool: A “language journal” to track and rewrite limiting self-talk into empowering affirmations.
Using NLP anchoring techniques, coaches help clients associate empowering words or phrases with a positive emotional state, creating a resource they can draw on when needed.
Example: Visualising success while repeating a phrase like, “I am capable and resourceful.”
Coaches challenge disempowering assumptions embedded in language to open up new perspectives.
Example Question: “What if you could succeed at this? What would you do differently?”
Powerful questions direct attention toward solutions, possibilities, and strengths.
Example: Instead of asking, “Why is this so hard?” a coach might ask, “What’s one small step you could take to make this easier?”
Coaches help clients cultivate a habit of using forward-looking, solution-focused language that aligns with their goals and values.
Example Activity: Writing daily affirmations or intentions.
Reflective Questions
How might my relationships, career, and overall happiness improve if I became more mindful of my language?
How often do I respond to “How are you?” with neutral or negative phrases like “not bad” or “could be worse”?
How would my mood and mindset change if I responded with something positive, like “I’m great, thank you” or “Awesome!”?
How could I reframe words to be more positive and solution-focused? Eg, replacing “I forgot” with “What if I could remember?”
Discover Your Why
Simon Sinek’s Start with Why theory is a leadership and communication framework that emphasises the importance of understanding and communicating the purpose behind actions, products, and teams. It is based on the premise that people, including yourself, are inspired and motivated not by what you do or how you do it, but by why you do it. This idea is captured in his concept of the Golden Circle and explained in his book Start with Why and his famous TED Talk, How Great Leaders Inspire Action.
The Golden Circle
The Golden Circle is a visual framework consisting of three concentric circles:
Represents the purpose, cause, or belief behind what you do.
It answers: Why do you exist? Why do you do what you do?
This is the core of the message and is emotionally resonant.
Represents the processes, values, or methods you use to achieve your goals.
It answers: How do you do what you do differently or better than others?
Represents the tangible products, services, or actions you deliver.
It answers: What do you do?
Key Principles of the "Start with Why" Theory
Leadership and influence come from inspiring others rather than manipulating them with incentives, fear, or pressure.
People are more likely to connect with the purpose (why) than the product (what). This emotional connection drives loyalty and advocacy.
People who clearly articulate their why can inspire others to share their vision and align their actions toward a common goal.
When a person aligns why with the audience’s values, it fosters trust and long-term loyalty.
Simon Sinek uses the following example of how a company promotes their why first and appeals to emotions of their customers, making their products more than just tools—they become symbols of a shared belief system.
Why: Apple believes in challenging the status quo and thinking differently.
How: They design products with simplicity, innovation, and user-friendliness.
What: They create computers, smartphones, and software.
Sinek’s theory underscores that leading with purpose not only inspires others but also fosters authentic and meaningful connections. Whether applied in sports, personal development, or leadership, Start with Why offers a powerful lens for building trust, engagement, and sustainable success.
Start With Why TED Talk
Click on the video below to watch the TED talk. Remember this was recorded around 2009 and at some stage the 2nd most viewed TED talk. It has had over 12 million views.
Reflective Questions
If someone asked you, what do you do, how would you answer?
What are you passionate about and why do you do it?
How do you do it?
What do you do?
Coaching from a Strengths Perspective
Why Coaching?
You do not need to ‘change’, you simply need to be better at being you.
Strength Based Coaching is based on the premise that it’s better to draw out what is natural in you, rather than try to ‘top up’ what might be missing. You are unique and valuing that uniqueness is important. It allows you to be intentional when applying your natural talents. Intentionally applying these ideals provides the deep practice that assist in developing your mature Strengths.
Innate Talent + Skills + Knowledge = Strength
We define an innate talent as your natural patterns of thought, emotion and behaviour. Basically, how you think and feel reflects on how you act. Therefore, when we develop our mental and emotional fitness we greatly increase the chances of success. Remember, there are over 33 million combinations of these talent patterns, so you definitely unique.
Points to Remember
Ask yourself, what am I already doing well and replicate that.
Develop what is going well. Focusing on what you can do is more productive than struggling against what you can’t.
Focusing on Strength does not mean forgetting weakness. Instead it means acknowledging your weaknesses and then managing them in a resourceful way.
Note: A weakness is something that gets in the way of your (or someone else’s) success.
If something is not working, consider how it ‘could’ work. Look at your innate talents, choose the outcome you want and then consider how you can apply what you do well to achieve that outcome. Sometimes this may mean partnering with someone else, other times it may mean applying your talents in a novel way. The key is to be intentionally focused on the outcome.
Remember, every talent theme has an ability, a liability, a power and a vulnerability. When we are in flow, we’re in the balcony, but when fear, hurt or pride is involved, we may find ourselves in the basement.
When working with others, if we want what they ‘bring’, we need to provide what they need.
Mapping Your Success from Raw Talent to Mature Strength
We’re born with raw talent. As we consciously apply knowledge and skills, our raw talents become mature strengths. We develop in character and ability. It is your choice how you plan to use your talents.
Some people choose to do nothing. Their talents remain buried, locked beneath ego, blame and shame.
However, you can choose a different path. You can choose to use your talents key to unlock your Strengths. Add a mindful compass and you have a technique to navigate life’s challenges.
Combining your innate talents with mindful awareness of thoughts and emotions, and an intentional awareness of the language you use, are tools for increasing well-being. You build an understanding of your conscious and unconscious mind that nurtures connection.
Are you ready to strengthen your own mind? Will you be the person who understands your own thoughts, emotions and behaviours?
The Next Step...
If you haven’t already done so, is complete the Clifton StrengthsFinder online assessment. If you are completing this program with a coach, you should have been given an access code. If you haven’t received one, please contact your coach before moving onto the next section.
If you are attempting this program alone, we recommend you completing this assessment.
There is an additional fee, however this is charged by Gallup, an external company not affiliated with CYC. You can continue on without completing it, however without knowing your talent patterns it may challenge your understanding of some of the content.
You will need around 30 mins of uninterrupted time to complete the survey, there are no right or wrong answers. You may want to use a laptop or PC as it is easier to read than on a mobile. Ensure you have a secure internet connection.
The questions are designed to interpret your natural patterns of thought, emotion and behaviour and you will receive your results upon completion. Initially they will ask for personal details, and as it is mainly designed for employees, will ask for company details. You may leave this blank.
The questions use a likert scale, with a range of options ranging from strongly agree to strongly disagree. It is best to go with your initial instinct. You may find some questions challenging, or they don’t relate to you. Simply use the neutral option.
Each question allows around 20 seconds to answer. Remember, if you are unsure how to answer, or you agree or disagree with both ranges and time runs out – that is still an answer. Trust that many people miss a couple of questions and that is okay.
Once complete, you will receive your results. There is a wealth of information you may access. If you have time read through what you wish. You will need to download your Insight Guide and the Action Plan for future use.
Click below to access the Gallup website.
Congratulations
You have now completed the Launch Pad section and ready to move on to the first official coaching session. If you are following this journey with a coach be sure to have booked in your initial coaching session.
And for those of you going it alone, remember you will reaps more rewards with a workbook to complete the upcoming activities and exercises. Simply contact us today to purchase your copy.
Apart from that, best wishes on your journey. Some people have told us that the next section is by far their favourite. Simply click Next to continue.
Enjoy!