The Power of Language
Consider this, how often do you hear people reply to the question of how are you, with “not bad”? Equally, you may hear people say “I forgot where I put my keys?” Would it make a difference if you answered “I’m doing great, thank you”, or thought “what if I could remember where I put my keys?” In both examples we are influencing our unconscious mind through the power of our language. We can use more positive, empowering language to achieve more happiness and success in life, it’s psychology 101.
Conscious Attention to Language:
Giving language conscious attention is understood through the concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP is a psychological framework that explores the connection between neurological processes (how we think), language (how we communicate), and behaviour (how we act). It focuses on how language patterns, thought processes, and behaviours can be intentionally adjusted to achieve specific goals, improve communication, and enhance personal effectiveness.
The Key Principles of Conscious Attention to language are:
People’s perceptions of reality are subjective and shaped by their internal “maps” of the world. Conscious attention to language aims to refine these maps for clarity and empowerment.
Imagine two people walking into the same meeting. One thinks, “This is going to be a disaster—no one respects my ideas.” The other thinks, “This is a chance to share my thoughts and learn from others.” They’re in the same room, but their “mental maps” of the situation couldn’t be more different. By consciously choosing more empowering language, like reframing the first thought to “I have valuable ideas, and I’m excited to share them,” the first person can shift their mindset and have a completely different experience.
Using specific cues (words, gestures, or imagery) to elicit a desired emotional or behavioural state.
Think about how a favourite song can instantly make you feel happy or nostalgic. That’s anchoring at work. Now, imagine you’re about to give a presentation, and you’re feeling nervous. You can create a positive anchor by pairing a confident phrase, like “I’ve got this,” with a small gesture, like squeezing your thumb and index finger together. Over time, this association helps you summon confidence on demand just by doing the gesture.
Changing the meaning of an experience to create a more empowering perspective.
Let’s say you didn’t get the promotion you were hoping for. Your initial thought might be, “I failed, and I’m not good enough.” Reframing this could look like saying, “This is a chance to develop new skills and prepare for the next opportunity.” The event hasn’t changed, but your perspective has—and that changes everything.
Identifying and replicating the thought patterns and behaviours of successful individuals.
Picture someone who’s exceptional at time management. They always seem calm, meet deadlines, and juggle responsibilities effortlessly. Instead of reinventing the wheel, you can model their success. Start by observing their habits: Do they use a specific planner? Block out their calendar? Prioritise tasks in a certain way? Then, replicate their strategies in your own way.
Semantics is the study of meaning in language—how words, phrases, and sentences communicate ideas. The language we use reflects and reinforces our beliefs, emotions, and behaviours. In the context of coaching, semantics becomes a powerful tool for shaping how individuals perceive their reality.
Words and phrases that reinforce limitation, fear, or self-doubt.
Example: “I’ll never get this right,” “This is impossible for me.”
Words and phrases that promote confidence, possibility, and positive outcomes.
Example: “I can figure this out,” “This is a challenge I’m ready to tackle.”
The Impact of Empowering vs. Disempowering Language:
Language doesn’t just describe reality—it shapes it. The words we use influence our mindset, emotional state, and behaviour:
Disempowering Language:
- Creates a sense of helplessness or defeat.
- Reinforces limiting beliefs.
- Diminishes motivation and resilience.
Empowering Language:
- Encourages confidence and proactive behaviour.
- Fosters a growth mindset.
- Opens pathways for problem-solving and creativity.
How a Coach Can Help with NLP, Semantics, and Language:
Coaches help clients recognise the words and phrases they frequently use and how these influence their thoughts and behaviours.
Example Question: “What do you notice about the way you describe this situation? How does it make you feel?”
Coaches use reframing techniques from NLP to help clients reinterpret challenges in a more empowering light.
Example:
Disempowering: “I failed at this.”
Reframed: “This attempt didn’t work, but I learned something valuable for next time.”
Changing the meaning of an experience to create a more empowering perspective.
Coaches encourage clients to replace disempowering phrases with language that fosters growth and optimism.
Example Tool: A “language journal” to track and rewrite limiting self-talk into empowering affirmations.
Using NLP anchoring techniques, coaches help clients associate empowering words or phrases with a positive emotional state, creating a resource they can draw on when needed.
Example: Visualising success while repeating a phrase like, “I am capable and resourceful.”
Coaches challenge disempowering assumptions embedded in language to open up new perspectives.
Example Question: “What if you could succeed at this? What would you do differently?”
Powerful questions direct attention toward solutions, possibilities, and strengths.
Example: Instead of asking, “Why is this so hard?” a coach might ask, “What’s one small step you could take to make this easier?”
Coaches help clients cultivate a habit of using forward-looking, solution-focused language that aligns with their goals and values.
Example Activity: Writing daily affirmations or intentions.
Daily Intentions
Empower your use of language today by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Here are three daily intentions to empower language:
- Speak with Purpose: I will choose words that inspire confidence and clarity in myself and others. For example, “If I was to remember, I would remember…” and “The best way for me to do this would be…”
- Listen to Understand: I will actively listen to others, noticing both their words and emotions. Identify positive and negative language, and notice how you emotionally respond.
- Reframe Challenges: I will use empowering language to reframe obstacles as opportunities for growth. For example, “Okay, this may not work, so how can I do this better?”
Reflective Questions
Here are three reflective questions to assess the power of your language at the end of your day:
- How did my words uplift and empower both myself and others today? Write down the words and phrases you specifically used.
- How well did I listen and respond to the emotions behind others’ words?
- How did I reframe challenges positively, or could I have used more empowering language?
Wellbeing Check
The importance of completing your wellbeing check today is to focus on the positive, empowering use of language today. By asking yourself the following positive, empowering questions you are telling your unconscious mind to focus on speaking and thinking positively. This is another step toward highlighting the importance of how you use language.
Click below to complete today’s Wellbeing Check:
Well done today, you will thoroughly enjoy Day 4 tomorrow, Discover Your Why.
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